Listening to my inner voice

I am happy to announce that I have successfully completed my first three weeks of detox.  Before going to the naturopath last week, I felt like I was being summoned to the principal's office.  Was I going to get a good grade or maybe reprimanded for having a sliver of avocado on shabbat?  My anxiety was unfounded as anxiety usually is.  We allow things to lose proportion in our minds, and in reality it is usually not as terrible as we anticipated.  Besides, my naturopath is a really nice person.

So I passed with flying colors.  As a matter of fact I did so well that she wants me to continue.  I told her I was having food hallucinations so she compromised and said I could have  fish twice a week. This is a reward that just a few weeks ago would have manifested itself as a piece of cheesecake or pint of ice cream (or both!).

I feel like I am paying attention to what is going into my body and appreciating it.  So often when eating something (pre-detox), I ate it so fast without savoring the taste that often I didn't even remember eating it or how it tasted shortly after ingesting it. 

Get ready here comes an insight:  I always related to dieting as trying to not think about food--to stop the eternal inner dialogue about what to eat, how much to eat, etc.  I was always telling myself to stop relating to food.  But now, my inner dialogue is changing.  I want to talk to myself about what I am eating--telling myself to appreciate and savor what I am eating. (There is a lot of talking going on in my head).  By acknowledging and appreciating good food at the appropriate times I am significantly less obsessed with the topic of food.
This is good, because now all the time I was obsessing has been freed up and I can use that time for my schoolwork.

At Curves the other day I noticed that my exercise tunic is no longer tight fitting.  I am making it to exercise 2-3 times a week.  I am trying to get to a consistent 3 times a week to maximize the  benefits.  I just need to figure out how to get all the many things I do done while going to school and working.  Curves, here I come.

Oops, forgot to mention...I am down more than 6 kilos!